Living Life to the Fullest

I finally feel like I can live life to the fullest. I almost feel like a baby in this life, it’s a new way of being for me. I had no idea how my subconscious mind was “keeping me safe from the world" and in doing so keeping me from experiencing life.

After spending my entire life in some sort of emotional pain, trying to protect myself from life, I realize I don’t know how to be in flow, on the regular. How to just be and follow my joy rather than being on the look out for potential percieved danger. What I’m trying to say, is we naturally want to recreate our programing because it is what we know and it’s safe.  What should be natural to us, is actually unknown. What I am learning is, it takes some vigiliant awareness and a little effort to embrace our natural God given right to “BE” our natural creative selves.

I had an opportunity to break through some of barriers with this current snow storm. Over the years I have enjoyed cross country skiing, it was the one thing that helped me to enjoy the winter season. After I moved back from living in the warm west for several years I was a little apprehensive to get on my skis again but I did manage to go out a couple of times. Then, I broke my arm and I became aware of how vulnerable my body was and I was afraid to get on my skiis again. Shortly following, my health was compromised with chronic illness, I had no strength or stamina and I had some moderate to severe muscle wasting, as well. It took me a couple of years to heal myself. That is a journey I have already shared with you all. Still today, I am working on regaining and balancing my musclar strength. However, this coupled with entering the crone phase of my life was enough to keep from skiing again. Thinking I was “too old” and too fragile to do that now. ( another belief to overcome). I also have been carrying the fear of getting hurt again but, I really wanted to get out there again.

So with some encouragement from a couple of friends. I took my skis to be checked out and cleared for take off. I had my gear ready to go and lucky me we got a big snow. I went out there trailblazing a safe little trail for me in the woods. OMG, it is so glorious to be out there, my soul sang. I don’t have to do anything daring or stay out there for hours to reap the joy and benefits from cross country skiing that I once enjoyed so much. I have overridden all the fears I have just describbed to you and found my joy once again. It is invigorating to live beyond my fears.

I am not giving up living life to its fullest until it is time for me to leave this existence. This has taught me life is not worth living unless you live it to your fullest capacity, whatever that is for you. I will never take for granted again my desire and joy for being physically active and enjoying nature, preferably at the same time. Prior to my injury and illness I took that for granted, no more. I am blessed and grateful to be on this earth and have my physical capabilities still. I am chosing to live life to the fullest right to the end. No more shutting myself down and conforming to norms that don’t suit me.

I feel the shift in myself from exsisting to thriving. A desire to create and experience in this life. Dreaming new things into being, persuing my joy and not saying no. It may have taken me 60+ years to get here but, every moment of freedom is worth it. I wouldn’t change a thing because without the muk and strive I wouldn’t beable to appreciate it the way I do now.

I hope my story inspires you to overcome your fears and move towards your freedom to experience the wonders of life.